Are you ready for The Walking Dead? Returns Monday 10 February at 9pm on FOX

So you’re a bag of nerves at the thought of a zombie apocalypse? Well, here are some handy tips on how you can zombie proof your home. Yeah, we said it “zombie proof” – I mean you never know when these freakishly ugly fiends will take over our shopping malls, schools, roads and dissipate the human race.

It’s up to you to make sure your home is out of bounds. And since zombies outnumber humans like several thousand to one human, you’de better pay close attention ahead of the return of The Walking Dead on Monday 10 February at 9pm WAT on FOX.

These tips are so great, you won’t be doing a double-take to triple check that you’ve locked down the place good and proper:

First, let’s talk doors – fasten a couple of steel sheets on the outside and inside of all your doors. Go ahead and cover the keyholes too, I mean, it’s not like you’re going to get the morning paper anymore or step out for a breath of fresh air ‘cos it might just be the last breath you take. Sorry, but you’re going to have to find a way to self-sustain in your humble abode.

Let’s throw in a couple of deadbolts on the inside of the doors too. How about, say, 20 of them from top to bottom. And since you won’t get to go to the gym anymore, your morning work-out sessions are sorted. Just open every second one from top to bottom, then lock them again from bottom to top.

Before the apocalypse begins, start constructing a gigantic fortress around your house. And if your neighbours didn’t know how much you disliked them before, well, when you’re done they’ll pretty much get the picture loud and clear.

What’s next? Oh yes, windows hmmm… burglar bars on the windows are an absolute must and maybe replace the glass with some plexiglass, and add some wooden shutters too, so when you’re hating on the view you can just close the shutters.

You might want to replace you roof tiles with a flat concrete roof, surely zombies won’t be able to penetrate that?

And if you live in a wooden house – well, I’ve got absolutely nothing for you! All it’ll take to bring that down is a box of matches. Wait, there might just be hope for you, since the zombie nation doesn’t have the hand-eye co-ordination to strike a match.

Or you could just build an underground bunker and stock it with food and weaponry. It may look like you’re prepping to harbor a fugitive, but hey, when the zombie apocalypse actually happens, you’ll be sorted.

And hey, if all else fails and you can’t beat em, join em!

Check out the return of Season 4 tonight and see what survival tactics Rick and the other survivors as the The Walking Dead returns on Monday, 10 February at 9pm WAT on FOX.